Monoiki

-P. Tui Silva

Monoiki was born in San Diego, CA. He is of Hawaiian, Chinese and French decent and moved to O'ahu at the age of 20. He is proud of his Polynesian ancestry and equally so in being gay. Monoiki has been instrumental in fighting for Native Hawaiian rights and insuring a place for LGBT Hawaiians in that struggle since 1994 through the group Na Mamo o Hawai'i.

Tui: When was the first time you came to Hawai'i?

Monoiki: I was four, for Christmas with my Mom and Dad. Then I went home but then I'd get shuffled back and forth to Hawai'i in the summertime after my parents got divorced.

T: What was it like coming to Hawai'i?

M: Um, I was usually trapped in the house so I really didn't care for it, but since the last time, when I was 11, I had 9 years to fool around in CA and I got into all kinds of trouble. I started hating life and getting all crazy kine with drugs and stuff. But opportunity came in '94, to come back home for a family reunion in Hawai'i.

T: How was it this time?

M: It was good fun! When the plane landed I just had this feeling that I was gonna stay. Full on, I felt magnetized! Not even twenty minutes on the ground, I asked my aunty how hard it was to find a job here. She just exhales and blows her smoke, "Fo' real? The economy kind of junk but you can!" So I was like "OK!" then automatically I just thought, where can I live cuz I no like go back!

T: Why was it this time that you felt magnetized to stay?

M: I dunno. Everything was set up for me to go back to San Diego; it all said I should've gone home, but I stayed and I don't know why! But my friends just say "Hawai'i was calling you!" I can swing with that. I just felt there was something more for me here.

T: With regards to your Hawaiianess, did you always feel it, or was there a certain point when you began to embrace it?

M: Good question. I think it was about the eight grade or so (note: just the time when The Jets came out, but we'll get to that later!), but you've always known cuz aunty get flat nose, brown skin, kinky hair! It wasn't until after graduation that I felt more pa'a (solid) with being Polynesian so I started hanging around the gay Samoans, but then they pushed me away cuz I wasn't Samoan. Was so nails and it was kind of a let down.

T: So harsh up there. Did it change when you moved here?

M: Oh definitely. First I moved to Kane'ohe and was really cool cuz everyone is very friendly, regardless of your race. It's just "eh, howzit!" But I really didn't know too much about being Hawaiian until I joined Na Mamo. I was so amazed cuz had Hawaiians getting PhD's, teachers, one fireman! I was in shock cuz in the meanwhile, this dark little voice inside of me was saying, "You know Hawaiians only good for drinking, making babies, or being on the beach like everybody says they do!" What a shitty voice, but it was tiny.

T: Wow, that's heavy!

M: Yeah, but after being in Na Mamo, it just opened my eyes, so I stuck with it, and here I am six years later still fighting for rights! (laughs)

T: Mono, I know that you've taken chant with Kumu John Lake, and I think you have the coolest chanting voice. Have you ever danced hula?

M: Well, when I was younger I wanted to take hula when I saw my sister dance so I did. Then one day my Mom and Dad showed up to my class with 'ukulele in hand and told me to dance. So I danced "Noho Paipai," and for the rest of the year the whole class teased me "Hula Boy." Brah, I was so shame and I don't know why. Probably cuz I was so different, sexually speaking, and I didn't want them to be right until I felt right about it. So it affected me negatively, and I didn't want to take hula anymore.

T: So when did you first know you were gay?

M: Well, I knew I was different from a young age, cuz I brought my gay uncle's The Joy of Gay Sex book to school to show my friend in second grade.

Tui: Well there's a sign!

Monoiki: When I showed it to him, he said he got turned on too, but then he hijacked my book and took it to the fricken field where all the guys was teasing me for the rest of the year! Small kine trauma! But I had all the typical signs like hanging out with only girls, then going to an all boys school and not finding anything in common with them when it came to girls!

T: How has your family taken it?

M: Well, my Dad is really supportive. One night I was really drunk, Christmas '92, so I called him and said, "Dad, Dad, y'know...um...I gay" and he was like "okay." In fact when I was 11 he asked me if I was mahu, and I was just like, "aye Dad, you just fricken clocked me" but I was too shame back then. But he's supportive cuz he has family members that are "different."

T: What about your Mom?

M: Um, hmm, that's different. My Mom is supportive overall, but coming out was hard, cuz she remarried a military haole guy at the time so she was like "that's fine, just don't be flamboyant about it." She really put conditions on my living, but of course I had free rent and electricity so it was fine cuz being respectable is the kuleana (Hawaiian responsibility) you have to take. It just took her some time to deal with it.

T: So you had a hard time with Samoans up in San Diego?

M: Yeah, but that was earlier.

T: And now you're dating one! How's that?

M: Interesting! It's such a culture shock. Now I like learn everything about Samoan culture.

T: How long have you been going together?

M: 1 year and 4 months today! We've been doing choke things like Samoan weddings, learned so much about make-up, pageants, Filipino food, so fun! Before I met Wade, all I knew was Hawaiian things. But it's so great now. You know growing up was hard for me cuz I was treated as the cultural mahu of the house--"everyone else go play, Mono do the dishes, wash the dog, sweep the floor." I wanted to play too. So when I met Wade, it was cool cuz he was doing the same thing! Yes! He does the dishes the same way, clean house, everything! It also helps that our parents were friends in high school. So much parallels! I was really fortunate to find him.

T: So if you could travel to any Polynesian island, which would you go to first?

M: I have to say Tonga.

T: Boy, you brave with your Sole sitting right next to you...haha!

M: No, I know I'm going to Samoa for sure, but I've always loved Tonga. I remember in 7th grade walking in line to class after lunch, my friend said "Mono, you heard of that group the Jets?" He said they were Hawaiians. I said "not!" but sure enough, turn on the TV and I said eh, they look kind of Hawaiian but more square the face, but bushy hair like Mom! So I go and find out they're Tongan.

T: Oh, so they would make you feel more Polynesian, right?

M: Oh yeah, severe! I did choke research looking through all the almanacs--TONGA: twenty four thousand islands, copra & tapioca, capital Nukualofa, Queen Salote. That was '86 I think. I was full on following them through high school, feeling like the only one who loves them until you go concert and see the same people backstage every time. So funny!

T: So what are your plans for the future?

M: We're going to visit the family in San Diego. And we need a car! Also I want to continue my community work with C.H.O.W. Project (the legal sterile needle exchange program).

T: How do you like it?

M: I really like meeting people. I want to make a difference and my workers at McDonald's used to tease me when I would tell them I was working for gay rights and kanaka maoli rights and they would say "oh right on, save the world bruddah!" Shit, they were ripping me! (laughs) And now they hear what I'm doing now and they say "Mono, you still trying to save the world?" I'm like "that's right!" I'm gonna do it myself if I have to! But I love it, working with the homeless really humbles yourself.

T: What advice would you give to a gay Polynesian youth?

M: Hmm, that's a hard one! How 'bout "respect your queen mother" and, um, "Mai huti mai"--don't steal! (All of us crack up!) No, seriously, um, remember those who came before who made the path easier and don't close your mind. Gee, I wish I had some 'olelo no'eau (Hawaiian proverb) for this!

T: I think "Mai huti mai" is definitely one for the books!

M: Yeah, that's a good one!