The Newest Addition to the Family,

ESERA TAVAI TUAOLO

 

            On October 29th, many gay Polynesians felt a renewed sense of pride and place as former NFL star, Esera Tuaolo declared on a national television that he is gay.  Tuaolo, who is 6’3” and 300 lbs, played football for the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Vikings. During his interview, it showed Esera with his longtime partner, Mitchell, and their two adopted daughters, Michele and Mateo.  His admission made national headlines, but it also hit home to many of us here in the islands.

 

            Esera Tuaolo was born in Honolulu, Hawai‘i, on a plantation and was the youngest of eight children.  Since coming out, the strikingly handsome Esera has received a wealth of support from the gay community and has even appeared on the cover of Advocate.  We are so proud of the steps he has taken, and UTOPIA commends him on behalf of GLBT Polynesians everywhere (and now we know, we are everywhere!!)

 

            The joy isn’t shared by all, however, as Esera has also met with a lot of controversy, especially from his very own Samoan community.  Comments like, “you are a menace to our Samoan culture,” to “gays are wrong types of mentality,” and “gays started AIDS” have come from many outraged Samoans who are still in the closet (oops, I mean) very upset at how Samoans will now be perceived.  Yet in the midst of all the backlash, many Samoans continue to support Esera and have not felt jaded by his coming out.  In answer to some of the negative comments from fellow Samoans, Esera has responded by saying:

 

“Thanks for the support!  I only pray that people will understand that this decision has no reflection on my family, friends or race.  It was a quest for happiness, and it was time to not live in pain.  I am Samoan, and I am proud.  I pray that the people of Samoa will not look upon this as shame, but to realize that a Samoan will be helping thousands of children around the world not take their lives just because they feel different; but it will help them realize that they are special.  As one poet puts it ‘LOVE IS THE ANSWER,’ and as Jesus said ‘LOVE OTHERS AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.’”

 

Polynesians, Keiki & HIV

 

            Esera’s courage to come out has brought us a step closer to being accepted in our communities, and to acknowledge that there are large, masculine Polynesians who are gay.  Esera reasons for coming were not political, but very personal—he knows what young mufi kids go through growing up in a society that does not accept them.  Yet his hope is to save those kids from taking their own lives simply because of who they are.  Research has shown us that gay youth are at high risk for suicide, drug use, being runaways and throwaways (meaning their family disowned them), and for dropping out of school.  This holds true here in Hawai‘i where many kids runaway from home to escape the abuse.  Some end up working the streets and turning tricks just to survive.  Many of them get into abusive relationships or turn to heavy drug use because of their low self-esteem.  This all contributes to increasing their chances of getting HIV and AIDS.  Research has shown that family acceptance of their gay sons plays an important role in keeping them safe from HIV and AIDS. 

A recent study done by Raphael Diaz with over 900 men of color found that some gay men who had “hard lives” (used drugs, sex with plenty people, experienced racism and discrimination or had abusive partners) were still able to be safe and not get HIV, while others with similar lives did get infected.  What were the differences between these guys?  Raphael called them “Resiliency Factors,” of which a major one included: 

 

1)  family acceptance of their gay child

2)  growing up with a gay role model

 

Who could be a better role model for our kids than Esera Tuaolo?

 

Esera may also be reached via his webpage:

http://www.eseratuaolo.com